Have You 'Zine This? by Andrew McCullough

A fanzine was something that I had never heard of.

Being about eleven years old at the time the first Ards fanzine appeared, I had scarcely noticed that the official club programme even existed. So a couple of guys standing outside the ground one Saturday with a bunch of small magazines underarm might have struggled to attract a bit of attention. They did have one thing on their side though: a name. And what a name!

Anyone who had ever stood at the airport end of Castlereagh Park or even briefly visited the canteen, would have heard the words of the Ards FC anthem, a song which is still resurrected every now and again, even to this day. "…Are you going down the street with me?" We all know what came next.

Now I've no idea what that song had to do with Ards FC – there isn’t even a mention of football in any of the numerous verses – and I've no idea how many drinks had been downed on the night the ode was penned, but it’s title was as suitable a one as was going to be found for the new unofficial supporters' magazine.

We're All Going Down To Davy Lee's made its appearance in the early nineties. Issue one cost 70p, more than a copy of Ardsview that day, and was a twenty-page effort, mixing a few cut out photos with the classic typewriter smudged and uneven text.

Looking back now, there’s relatively little to be impressed about, but anyone who bought it at the time was probably fascinated by the novelty of it, and to some extent I still am, as I continually try to complete the set, some ten years on.

The idea of a fanzine was great, at the time it was undoubtedly the best vehicle for the average fan to put forward his thoughts on the world of Irish League football; enjoy some occasionally close to the bone banter directed towards other clubs' supporters and, more often than not, have a laugh at the expense of certain Ards FC directors. Of course nowadays the 'voice of the people' platform has evolved into other forms such as football websites and forums, but the idea remains the same, and no official club publication could ever have spawned the occasionally wonderful frankness that Davy Lee's turned out over a dozen issues.

The topical nature of the fanzine's appeal may be lost now but some of the best pieces still continue to amuse. In issue two a security forces advert encouraging the public to put an end to 'rackets' by calling the confidential telephone number was altered to include the line: "Want to buy a ten year stand ticket?" the infamous scheme which surely turned out to be the most unwise decision ever taken by Ards, an offer that cost the club thousands.

Given the thoroughly sarcastic treatment was former Ards midfielder John Crilly, who if you remember was an Ards legend for about a week back in '92 before realising that he didn't want to play for Ards and swiftly returned to Omagh. Davy Lee's penned an obituary to the departed hero, fondly remembered as "oi you" or "whats-his-name". Disgraceful it seemed that he was not granted a testimonial following his three games for the club and inconvenient most for the North End Supporters' Club, who were in the process or renaming themselves the 'John Crilly Supporters' Club'.

Of course the target of most of the ribbing back then was our North-Down neighbours, and it's quite nostalgic to have a look back and reminisce about Ards supporters actually caring enough to poke fun at their nearest Irish League rivals (geographically, anyway). It seems a world away from the situation now, when it would be a rare occasion when I would even look for the Bangor result, never mind jump onto their website to send my congratulations for another great performance.

Receiving a full page of coverage was a rant on a postponed Ards-Bangor league game in 1994, which seemed to be inexplicably cancelled at the last moment, following a mere ninety minutes of rain a couple of hours before kick-off. Bangor's injury crisis at that time was no secret; remember those days when Teletext could think of nothing better to fill their pages with? The accompanying advert spelt out the deepest suspicions of the fanzine team: "FOR SALE: 100ft Garden Hose, used only once".

Just over a dozen issues of Davy Lee's were turned out onto the terraces at Ards by a few unnamed men between 1991 and 1994, in addition to a short-lived rival publication named "The Butcher's Apron". The literary standards may have been low and the humour even worse but sure, the craic was great, wasn't it?

first published 29th September 2002